How To Spot Fake Friends | Real friends are real treasures – they like you the way you are, are there for you in good and bad times and you bring the best out of each other. But, like family, coworkers, and bosses, not all friends are the same, and instead of lifting yourself up, some can make you feel confused and a little bit worse after being with them. If you’ve ever experienced the latter, you may experience a gas fire and not a friendly relationship in your life.
Gaslighting is an increasingly common term to describe a covert form of manipulation that others use to make you guess yourself, to question your perceptions, and to undermine your confidence and sense of value.
Here are four signs of gaslighting and four ways to turn “wrong friends” on the table so you always shine bright.
How to spot fake friends
Has anyone ever said that he is there for you but then subtly puts you in front of others? They may have shared information that you have shared with others in a manner that you do not respect. You can cover up criticism by praising you too or dismissing your breach of trust by telling you that you will be overly sensitive or questioned when confronted with it so that you will doubt yourself or feel bad if You bring them up.
The sinking feeling
Our bodies often realize that things are not what they should be long before we do. We do not want to imagine that people who are supposed to take care of us intentionally do things to hurt us, so we will switch off our cognitive consciousness for as long as possible. Fortunately, our bodies don’t have the same filters! If you have a sinking feeling or feel like a stone in the gut when a certain person comes by, it may be time to ask yourself, “What is it about?”
Isolation from Others
Another common element in the behavior of gas lights is to try to isolate you socially from others by frequently saying things behind your back to raise doubts about your integrity or your mental state. This often shows up as a feeling of separation or something that is “not quite right” between you and other people you share with this friend.
Constant confusion and doubts
We create confusion and doubt when our ideal about someone doesn’t match reality. When we care about someone, we often refuse to be less positive about them, even if the evidence is the opposite. If you are looking for excuses for gas flash behavior, get your money’s worth.
If you keep thinking about it: “Did you really say that to me? Did I do anything to piss them off? Did I imagine it? You are my friends, why would you want to hurt me? “You do exactly what the gaslighter wants – you doubt and judge.
Acknowledging what happens and when
A true friend will greet you. They will honor you and everything you tell them. They will look for ways to get you up, not to throw you down. Gaslighters are experts in turning and turning facts to make you feel like the bad guy and wrong. If you have a person in your life who uses criticism to undermine you, to quarrel, or to make personal attacks or comments – subtle or otherwise – this is not friendly behavior. Keeping a diary can be helpful. Notice what they say or do, what confuses you, and ask what they do to honor or dishonor you?
Trust your instincts
If something doesn’t feel right when you interact with someone, don’t apologize or explain it. Ask yourself: “What’s going on here?”
Spend time with someone who is having fun and who sees you so you can see the difference and regain your own perspective on things. Notice when it feels good to be with someone and when it doesn’t. If there are certain people who keep making you uncomfortable, don’t let them undermine you, just trust your instinct that something is wrong.
Appreciate yourself primarily
A lot of what happens in our lives with gas light depends on us. This does not mean that you are responsible for someone else’s decisions or actions. It’s about your own self-esteem: if you’re not sure, let other people ignore you. Gaslighters seem so confident that you will believe them just because you are not so sure. If you do not appreciate yourself, it is easy for them to raise this doubt about you.
Are you ready to believe in yourself no matter what? To trust you, to appreciate yourself, and to have your own back, even if nobody else does? If you are, gas lighters will fall by the wayside.
Realize that it is not about you
A gaslighter doesn’t do what they do about you – they do it because of you. It is really not personal and has nothing to do with you. If anything, it’s a confirmation. They see you as more powerful than them and don’t want you to recognize or believe your own worth.
Your greatest weapon is to surpass it and continue to rise in your own life. You don’t have to fight them, go down to their levels or confront them to move on, you can just go beyond them! Step back from your life and carry on with yours.
The end of gaslighting
The day you choose to be there for yourself, everything changes. Appreciate you, support yourself in your way of thinking and functioning, and do not worry about what others think. Carry on creating your wonderful life! Not everyone will like and support you, and that’s fine. Just make sure those you call friends are the ones who want it!